


Achoo

by AreYouReady



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Humor, Sickfic, attempted assault with a dirty tissue, but in a loving way, but not sickfic at all, egregious discussion of snot, general mild grossness, implied cuddling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 16:01:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8997460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AreYouReady/pseuds/AreYouReady
Summary: Deanna is sick. Her wife is not as lovingly sympathetic as she would prefer. In fact, K'Ehleyr seems to think it's funny to chuck tissue boxes at her.She's gonna pay.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written as part of the Star Trek Secret Santa fanwork exchange, for @mon-degreen on tumblr.
> 
> Winter always makes me think of being sick and sorta miserable, sorta cozy, so here is Deanna feeling sorta miserable, sorta cozy, and very playful, getting Vengeance on her beloved wife.

“Hey!” Deanna protested as the tissue box bounced off her head. She immediately regretted using her voice, and pressed a hand to her throat, trying to use her freezing fingers as a makeshift ice pack. It wasn’t very effective.

“Sorry Dee, just thought you needed it,” said her wife from across the room. K’Ehleyr was clearly not sorry. K’Ehleyr was grinning as she leaned against Deanna’s desk.

Deanna _did_ need it. Her nose was full of unnamable unpleasantness, and if she didn’t evacuate it soon, it was going to do it on its own, and then she would need a new pillow case. Again. That didn’t mean she was going to lose her dignity and use K’Ehleyr’s tissues, though. She grabbed the PADD that she was using to “speak” with, and typed out a message.

 _“I am going to come over there and sneeze on you, and then we’ll see,”_ said the expressionless voice of the computer. K’Ehleyr laughed. Deanna, against her will, sniffled.

“Klingons are immune to the common cold, didn’t you know?” K’Ehleyr stuck her tongue out at Deanna. Deanna narrowed her eyes, and felt a thin smile creeping over her face. She began typing.

 _“Why don’t you come over here and give me a cuddle, then? I mean, I’m very cold, and if you can’t get sick…”_ Deanna stopped in mid-sentence as K’Ehleyr made a disgusted face. Weakness: uncovered.

She pushed the covers off herself (with no little effort of will; it was _cold_ in their quarters, or at least, her body thought it was) and hoisted herself up on one elbow. She slid one leg onto the floor, wincing at the goosebumps that struck her body along with the cold air.

She stood, wobbling, and K’Ehley’s face transmuted from disgust to concern.

“What is it? What do you need?”

Deanna made a show of thinking for a moment.

 _“Hmmm. My pride, I think,”_ she typed. K’Ehleyr looked perplexed, but then her eyes flicked from Deanna to the replicator. She raised an eyebrow as she watched Deanna stagger her way across the room. Deanna gritted her teeth against cold and weakness, keeping herself upright by imagining the moment when she would finally get to evacuate her sinuses.

“Tissues,” she croaked at the replicator, as softly as she could. The sparkling hum of matter replication sounded, she dropped the PADD and greedily snatched the first tissue out of the box without even removing it from the replicator niche. K’Ehleyr made a disgusted noise as Deanna blew.

“ _Oh yeah?”_ Deanna typed, and looked up from her tissue. It was time to implement phase two of her plan.

She extended the used tissue in front of her, and advanced towards K’Ehleyr. Her wife’s eyes widened, and she made a chicken-like squawk as she scrambled backward over the desk she’d been leaning against. Deanna’s reports, contained in a stack of PADDs, flew everywhere as K’Ehleyr skittered over them, clattering as they fell to the floor. There was a thud when K’Ehleyr fell off the other end, and Deanna gasped, but K’Ehleyr’s head popped up over the desk a moment later, eyes wide, before disappearing again. Deanna let her breath out.

She padded her way around the desk, trying to channel the feline predators that had had possession of an entire small continent on Betazed for as long as anyone could remember. She leaned forward, and lengthened and slowed her stride. She also tried to keep her eyes as round as possible, but the increased brightness of incoming light and the cold dryness of the air sent spears of discomfort into her fevered brain, so she narrowed them again.

When she reached the other side, K’Ehleyr was gone, and Deanna surmised that her wife was keeping the desk between them. A brilliant tactic. There was only one way to combat it…

It was only _after_ all of the air left her lungs that Deanna parsed the fact that bellyflopping onto the desk, tissue hand extended, was a bad idea. Her diaphragm spasmed, attempting to throw her into a coughing fit, but there was no air to push out. She gasped silently for a moment, and as soon as she got some oxygen into her lungs again, it got sent back out with a pathetic wet hacking sound.

K’Ehleyr immediately rose to her feet, concerned, and rolled Deanna onto her side the moment she understood what had happened.

“Are you alright?” she asked, as she stroked Deanna’s back, all exaggerated show of disgust stopped. Deanna scrunched her face and nodded, unable to speak. She was thankful K’Ehleyr had thought to take the pressure off her lungs by turning her; she could feel her breath returning already.

“Okay, let’s get you back to bed,” K’Ehleyr said, sternly. Deanna nodded again but lay limply, concentrating on breathing as shallowly as possible to give her lungs and muscles a break from body-wracking coughs. K’Ehleyr frowned. Then she slid one arm behind Deanna’s knees, one behind her back, and hoisted her bodily, with about the same effort as Deanna would expend lifting a cat.

Deanna was surprised for about three seconds, then she realized she was pressed against a large, warm K’Ehleyr and instinctively did her best impression of a boa constrictor, trying to get as much contact as possible, even though the metal studs on K’Ehleyr’s clothes made that a bit uncomfortable. When K’Ehleyr attempted to put her down, she clung hard.

“Dee, what are you doing?” K’Ehleyr asked, suspicious.

“Warm,” Deanna croaked, almost inaudibly even to herself. K’Ehleyr looked confused for a moment, then sighed.

“Alright, I’ll cuddle with you. For a few minutes. I have a real job, you know.”

“ _I’m a doctor, you ass,”_ Deanna tried to say, but the sound didn’t come quite right and she ended up just mouthing it.

“Shhh. Just let me change. I don’t wanna lay down anywhere in this.” She gestured to her studded jumpsuit. Deanna could understand that. She let go, and dropped with a bounce onto the bed, to wait for her warmth to return.

-

The next morning, Deanna woke up to an incredibly loud sneeze. One might even say the sneeze was so loud it was… _Klingon._

Whoops.


End file.
